OK, so my Roster Wars pool is pretty much in the crapper now. Or, my new favorite term, "in the Pinkston". Another round like this and I'm going to have to test out that whole "carbon monoxide is odorless" hullabaloo I keep hearing about.
Here are the cuts that the Redskins made to get down to 75 players:
Jerametrius Butler, CB
Jamaal Green, DE
Kevin Jones, LB
Jason McAddley, WR
Jerel Myers, WR
Todd Pinkston, WR
Joe Salave'a, DT
Pete Schmitt FB
Bryant Shaw, DE
Ross Tucker, OG
The biggest surprise might be Big Joe Salave'a, but I don't even think that's a shocker. What was probably a bigger shocker is that Todd Pinkston was signed at all. Shocking and embarassing. Like having-to-go-home-to-change-your-underwear-in-the-middle-of-the-day embarassing. That's where the new expression comes from. Clever, huh? Not that I would know, though, having bowels of steel.
Throughout preseason, Salave'a looked amazingly slow out there. I just figured the fact that he easn't very good didn't matter because a) none of his possible replacements looked much better, and b) Defensive Coordinator Gregg Williams seemingly couldn't care less. Since we're all into the whole honesty thing now, and as long as we're judging based on performance, by all rights, Renaldo Wynn should be right behind Big Joe.
McAddley is a surprise to me. He really seemed to show up on teams and looked to be a Thrash heir apparent in the making. I'm not sure exactly what his injury was but the team opted to put him on injured reserve, effectively ending his season. My guess is that he has some horribly disfiguring form of elephantitis. So, really the move was made for the visual benefit of all.
Carl "You're With Me, Leather" Berman seems to be the big winner this round, although he didn't show very much at all during preseason. In fact, he looked to be the invisible man, save a pretty nice catch while getting facemasked against the Titans and showing some fleet footedness in a punt return against Pittsburgh that ultimately netted about 4 yards.
Oh, and Ross Tucker got placed on injured reserve as well. It's a bit of a shocker to me that they would keep Tucker in any capacity. Ross needs to get stronger and quicker by a wide margin to play at an acceptable level. Being that he's a Princeton graduate, he might take the offseason to craft a flux capacitor or something that he can wear under his helmet to amplify his talent output. Or better yet, he could travel the world in search of a magic genie willing to grant him a wish because that's the only way he could make an NFL team at his current level of play.
Jeremetrius Butler must have really sucked to sign a FA contract and then get cut this early. That's about all I can say. Well, that and Gregg Williams needs to stop looking into the Rams backfield. For anything. Just leave it alone and walk away, coach.
I thought Jamaal Green would have stuck around for a little longer. He got considerable playing time in the Titans game and showed a pretty good motor before getting hurt chasing a play down from behind. We has easily the equal of Phillip Daniels, but I guess that isn't saying too much. There is a dead possum next to my house that could probably get better pressure on the QB than Phillip Daniels.
The rest of the guys just weren't up to par. Jerel Myers wasn't in camp long enough to unpack and Pinkston should not have been in camp anyway, considering that he can only play on about 20% of the field -- specifically where there are no other players or particularly aggressive blades of grass.
Good luck to all who have been voted off the island. Danny has some fabulous consolation prizes for you on the way out. They're right next to my 20% off coupon for the Redskins Store that I didn't get after almost getting electrocuted for this team at the Ravens game.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Film Room: Offensive Line (Preseason, Week 1)
I know it's a little late to do a performance review, but I've been really busy and blogging doesn't quite pay the bills. Especially since only like 3 people read my stuff and one of them is my mom. Luckily, one of the other two is your mom. Yes, I know who you are. And your mom reads my blog.
Also, when I do a film review, I really do a review. I watch each play at least 6 times and usually more than 10. I isolate players and try to see what happens for everyone on a play. For those folks who don't know, that 5 second back button on TiVo rules. The thing is, it takes a good deal of time to do, and sometimes I'm lazy.
Here's how we play the game:
Today, we're looking at thedebacle well oiled machine that is the Redskins offensive line. I'll give the once-over on each player at each position, pointing out what they did well, what they didn't so well and a grade for the game. Then I'll bring it on home with a unit assessment.
So let's do this.
Left Tackle
Chris Samuels
DNP
Stephon Heyer
The rookie actually played comparatively well. He had a lot of TE help. Heyer's side gave up a sack on a corner blitz and another on a delayed stunt between the DE and the DT. On the corner blitz, I can't really fault Heyer as Campbell probably should have noticed the corner and called it out. On the stunt, Heyer took the outside in and TE Chris Cooley took the inside out. Cooley blew the outside and Heyer locked down the inside curl. Meanwhile, LG Todd Wade was standing in his zone with nothing to do. More on Wade in a minute. His run blocking was adequate.
Grade: B
Left Guard
Todd Wade
Wade played average at best. He still plays too high and at times got dominated or neutralized by the smaller man. He doesn't get low and get his butt out like the best OG do in pass protection. Wade fell down on a pull and missed a few blocks on other running plays. He got stood up and pushed back into the pocket on a few bull rushes. He also didn't recognize well on the stunts and ended up being the weak link on the left side.
Grade: C-
Jason Fabini
His pass blocking was terrible and his run blocking was sloppy. If what he showed against the Titans is his typical way of doing business then Fabini is what I call a 5 second player. You get whatever he's got for 5 seconds. After that, he's done. He just stops. He did this on more occasions than I could count. He gave up a sack after quitting on a play. It was disturbing, to say the least. I'm sure the coaches don't like it either. I still can't believe that this guy started for a Bill Parcells team.
Grade: F
Center
Casey Rabach
Rabach had a solid performance. He showed well in the passing game as well as in run blocking. For the most part, his line calls were good. He didn't adjust to the stunts well; however; but I doubt they gameplanned for that.
Grade: B+
Mike Pucillo
Pucillo had the best overall performance by an OL, in my opinion. He was solid against the run and the pass and didn't get beaten all night that I saw.
Grade: A
Right Guard
Randy Thomas
Thomas was maybe 80% for this game and it showed. But 80% of Randy Thomas is still close to our best lineman. While he appeared to be a bit slow, he avoided any major gaffes, including on the stunts. He didn't move that well, though. it makes me wonder how well he's going to be able to pull in the running game come September.
Grade: B
Ross Tucker
Tucker just looked slow and weak. He didn't seem to be playing like a starting NFL guard, honestly. So, I guess it's good that he's a reserve. He missed a few pass and run blocks that I noticed and fell down on yet another running play with a pulling OG. His play just wasn't crisp and he made mental mistakes. That said, he was still better than Fabini.
Grade: C-
Kili Lefotu
Lefotu was a breath of fresh air when he played. He not only was solid in pass protection, he was aggresive. He'd finish his block by jamming his arms into the defender. I don't know about you, but that's what I like to see: the mean streak. Unfortunately, he doesn't move that well. On running plays where he had to pull, he clearly wasn't very quick. He also seems to be carrying more weight than he probably should. He didn't miss any blocks that I saw, but he was a little late getting over on the running plays where he had to pull or trap. If he got his hands on the defender, that guy was locked down.
Grade: B-
Right Tackle
Jon Jansen
Jansen looked awful. He looked slow and, at times, he was dominated. He was slow and sloppy on running plays, didn't move well and missed a few blocks in the running game. He missed the switch off on the stunt that led to a sack. In fact, one one play with a hard charging DE, Jansen backpedaled 8 yards into the back field -- right up on the QB -- before getting his hands on the DE for the first time. That's just bad and Jon knows better.
Grade: D
Calvin Armstrong
Excelled in run blocking but was spotty in pass protection. When he pass blocked well, he did so very well. When he did so poorly, it was a disaster. He gave up 1.5 sacks and looked bad doing it. Similar to Jansen, one one play he was 7 yards in the backpedal before he first engaged the defender. The difference is that Armstrong is a 2nd year player whereas Jansen is an 8 year vet. One of these two guys shouldn't still be making those mistakes.
Grade: C-
Unit Assessment
I have to say overall, the scheme wasn't very complicated. The Redskins did very little offensively and didn't put together much of a gameplan. Still, individuals have to show up and play. Aside from a handful on the OL, most of them didn't. Or couldn't.
The run blocking wasn't great, but, then again, Ladell Betts, Rock Cartwright and Derrick Blaylock do not exactly have great vision either. All sacks, save one (Fabini) came on a stunt, a delayed stunt or a corner blitz. I doubt the Redskins practiced for picking up a corner blitz or a stunt. You can rest assured that they'll get those lessons this week, though.
Overall Grade: C-
Also, when I do a film review, I really do a review. I watch each play at least 6 times and usually more than 10. I isolate players and try to see what happens for everyone on a play. For those folks who don't know, that 5 second back button on TiVo rules. The thing is, it takes a good deal of time to do, and sometimes I'm lazy.
Here's how we play the game:
Today, we're looking at the
So let's do this.
Left Tackle
Chris Samuels
DNP
Stephon Heyer
The rookie actually played comparatively well. He had a lot of TE help. Heyer's side gave up a sack on a corner blitz and another on a delayed stunt between the DE and the DT. On the corner blitz, I can't really fault Heyer as Campbell probably should have noticed the corner and called it out. On the stunt, Heyer took the outside in and TE Chris Cooley took the inside out. Cooley blew the outside and Heyer locked down the inside curl. Meanwhile, LG Todd Wade was standing in his zone with nothing to do. More on Wade in a minute. His run blocking was adequate.
Grade: B
Left Guard
Todd Wade
Wade played average at best. He still plays too high and at times got dominated or neutralized by the smaller man. He doesn't get low and get his butt out like the best OG do in pass protection. Wade fell down on a pull and missed a few blocks on other running plays. He got stood up and pushed back into the pocket on a few bull rushes. He also didn't recognize well on the stunts and ended up being the weak link on the left side.
Grade: C-
Jason Fabini
His pass blocking was terrible and his run blocking was sloppy. If what he showed against the Titans is his typical way of doing business then Fabini is what I call a 5 second player. You get whatever he's got for 5 seconds. After that, he's done. He just stops. He did this on more occasions than I could count. He gave up a sack after quitting on a play. It was disturbing, to say the least. I'm sure the coaches don't like it either. I still can't believe that this guy started for a Bill Parcells team.
Grade: F
Center
Casey Rabach
Rabach had a solid performance. He showed well in the passing game as well as in run blocking. For the most part, his line calls were good. He didn't adjust to the stunts well; however; but I doubt they gameplanned for that.
Grade: B+
Mike Pucillo
Pucillo had the best overall performance by an OL, in my opinion. He was solid against the run and the pass and didn't get beaten all night that I saw.
Grade: A
Right Guard
Randy Thomas
Thomas was maybe 80% for this game and it showed. But 80% of Randy Thomas is still close to our best lineman. While he appeared to be a bit slow, he avoided any major gaffes, including on the stunts. He didn't move that well, though. it makes me wonder how well he's going to be able to pull in the running game come September.
Grade: B
Ross Tucker
Tucker just looked slow and weak. He didn't seem to be playing like a starting NFL guard, honestly. So, I guess it's good that he's a reserve. He missed a few pass and run blocks that I noticed and fell down on yet another running play with a pulling OG. His play just wasn't crisp and he made mental mistakes. That said, he was still better than Fabini.
Grade: C-
Kili Lefotu
Lefotu was a breath of fresh air when he played. He not only was solid in pass protection, he was aggresive. He'd finish his block by jamming his arms into the defender. I don't know about you, but that's what I like to see: the mean streak. Unfortunately, he doesn't move that well. On running plays where he had to pull, he clearly wasn't very quick. He also seems to be carrying more weight than he probably should. He didn't miss any blocks that I saw, but he was a little late getting over on the running plays where he had to pull or trap. If he got his hands on the defender, that guy was locked down.
Grade: B-
Right Tackle
Jon Jansen
Jansen looked awful. He looked slow and, at times, he was dominated. He was slow and sloppy on running plays, didn't move well and missed a few blocks in the running game. He missed the switch off on the stunt that led to a sack. In fact, one one play with a hard charging DE, Jansen backpedaled 8 yards into the back field -- right up on the QB -- before getting his hands on the DE for the first time. That's just bad and Jon knows better.
Grade: D
Calvin Armstrong
Excelled in run blocking but was spotty in pass protection. When he pass blocked well, he did so very well. When he did so poorly, it was a disaster. He gave up 1.5 sacks and looked bad doing it. Similar to Jansen, one one play he was 7 yards in the backpedal before he first engaged the defender. The difference is that Armstrong is a 2nd year player whereas Jansen is an 8 year vet. One of these two guys shouldn't still be making those mistakes.
Grade: C-
Unit Assessment
I have to say overall, the scheme wasn't very complicated. The Redskins did very little offensively and didn't put together much of a gameplan. Still, individuals have to show up and play. Aside from a handful on the OL, most of them didn't. Or couldn't.
The run blocking wasn't great, but, then again, Ladell Betts, Rock Cartwright and Derrick Blaylock do not exactly have great vision either. All sacks, save one (Fabini) came on a stunt, a delayed stunt or a corner blitz. I doubt the Redskins practiced for picking up a corner blitz or a stunt. You can rest assured that they'll get those lessons this week, though.
Overall Grade: C-
Redskins.com Fan Blog
Did this guy even *watch* the game?
He saw no counters, but we clearly pulled linemen. And Omar Stoutmire had the big hit on the receiver, not Pierson Prioleau. Stuff like this is why the NFL folks think that fans are idiots and don't know what we're talking about.
He went on to say that the OL didn't have a great day. No kidding. But what he didn't say was that folks like Wade and Jansen were terrible. So were Fabini (gave up 2 sacks) and Armstrong (gave up 1-1/2 sacks). Ross Tucker looked his best when falling down. Stephon Heyer looked muich better than they did.
Wanna give props? How about to Pucillo? He and Rabach were the best on the OL.
The fan was even more inept at judging the DL.
OK, well, it looks like I'm going to have to put things back in alignment for all of the fans who actually know football.
He saw no counters, but we clearly pulled linemen. And Omar Stoutmire had the big hit on the receiver, not Pierson Prioleau. Stuff like this is why the NFL folks think that fans are idiots and don't know what we're talking about.
He went on to say that the OL didn't have a great day. No kidding. But what he didn't say was that folks like Wade and Jansen were terrible. So were Fabini (gave up 2 sacks) and Armstrong (gave up 1-1/2 sacks). Ross Tucker looked his best when falling down. Stephon Heyer looked muich better than they did.
Wanna give props? How about to Pucillo? He and Rabach were the best on the OL.
The fan was even more inept at judging the DL.
OK, well, it looks like I'm going to have to put things back in alignment for all of the fans who actually know football.
Monday, August 13, 2007
Enough With Larry Michael Already
I am a little late on this, but I had to watch the game on TiVo a couple of days after the actual event. I did, however, suffer through another Larry Michael broadcast as I listened to the game live. Just once, I would like to hear him set up a play like Frank Herzog (God, I miss that guy doing games) used to:
"Redskins moving left to right across your radio dial. I-formation. Santana Moss lines up on the near side, Randle El and Thrash on the far. Thrash goes in motion as Campbell spies the linebacker on the weak side of the formation ..."
Oh, how I long for those days. Days when men knew how to broadcast football. Days when broadcasters immediately knew the players on the team on sight without needing a press guide or an earpiece like they worked for the secret service.
Paint a picture with your mouth, Larry. Tell people what's happening. Don't just regurgitate the rehearsed lines that they gave you to say. What a terrible gameday experience listening on the radio has become.
Oh, and Sam Huff, I love you man. You used to call it like it was. Now, it seems that you can't say enough company line crap if you had two mouths.
Yeah, Sam, it's that obvious.
Are you really going to sit there with your 112 years of football knowledge and try and tell me and other people with all 5 of our senses (I have a 6th sense and a prehensile tail) that our DL is going to be [shudders] good? There's recognizing that Danny wants you to come in line to keep your job and then there's embarassing yourself and insulting the intelligence of the audience by going overboard on some of these things you said.
And Sonny... well, I don't think I heard much of Sonny at all. It seems he took the Federal worker approach and didn't say or do much during the broadcast. Well, done, you sly old dog you. You live to not really broadcast another day.
The broadcast was downright painful. Please bring Frank back already. He could be suffering from Alzheimers and have a worse radio voice than Diane Rehm and still be better than Larry Michael. He could be shaking uncontrollably and doing disturbing things to the microphone in a fit of senior passion and he'd be better than Larry Michael. In fact, he could be urinating deliberately (or even somewhat unintentionally) to and fro throughout the press box during the broadcast, singing nothing but "Shall We Dance" from The King and I and it would be better than having to listen to one more game of Larry Michael doing a Redskin broadcast.
There, I said it.
Enjoy your dinner.
"Redskins moving left to right across your radio dial. I-formation. Santana Moss lines up on the near side, Randle El and Thrash on the far. Thrash goes in motion as Campbell spies the linebacker on the weak side of the formation ..."
Oh, how I long for those days. Days when men knew how to broadcast football. Days when broadcasters immediately knew the players on the team on sight without needing a press guide or an earpiece like they worked for the secret service.
Paint a picture with your mouth, Larry. Tell people what's happening. Don't just regurgitate the rehearsed lines that they gave you to say. What a terrible gameday experience listening on the radio has become.
Oh, and Sam Huff, I love you man. You used to call it like it was. Now, it seems that you can't say enough company line crap if you had two mouths.
Yeah, Sam, it's that obvious.
Are you really going to sit there with your 112 years of football knowledge and try and tell me and other people with all 5 of our senses (I have a 6th sense and a prehensile tail) that our DL is going to be [shudders] good? There's recognizing that Danny wants you to come in line to keep your job and then there's embarassing yourself and insulting the intelligence of the audience by going overboard on some of these things you said.
And Sonny... well, I don't think I heard much of Sonny at all. It seems he took the Federal worker approach and didn't say or do much during the broadcast. Well, done, you sly old dog you. You live to not really broadcast another day.
The broadcast was downright painful. Please bring Frank back already. He could be suffering from Alzheimers and have a worse radio voice than Diane Rehm and still be better than Larry Michael. He could be shaking uncontrollably and doing disturbing things to the microphone in a fit of senior passion and he'd be better than Larry Michael. In fact, he could be urinating deliberately (or even somewhat unintentionally) to and fro throughout the press box during the broadcast, singing nothing but "Shall We Dance" from The King and I and it would be better than having to listen to one more game of Larry Michael doing a Redskin broadcast.
There, I said it.
Enjoy your dinner.
Saturday, August 4, 2007
Redskins @ Ravens: Live Blog
12:12 PM: I have too much work to do, so I'll be staying at home and not be in Balmer this for the scrimmage.
12:48 PM: I've been watching this coverage with my jaw hanging open for about 20 minutes now. and it is easily the worst, most one-sided coverage that I've ever seen. I am supremely disappointed in MASN for providing such a crappy coverage team. If they're content to have complete ratbird coverage, they should allow a DC-oriented team to voiceover these jackholes.
12:54 PM: I'm sooooo much more interested in looking at some broke *** Charlie Weiss lookalike instead of watching the actual scrimmage. :/
12:56 PM: Cooley has on knee high yellow socks for the ladies. With that crazy hair, he kind of looks like a fuzzy pencil when he takes his helmet off, lol.
12:58 PM: Shawn Springs just got beat deep on a great pass by... Kyle Boller?
1:00 PM: Campbell seems to mostly be working underneath passes. Disturbing. I hope he breaks out that YouTube play.
1:04 PM: Finally, thank God. A commercial! My ears are bleeding from this coverage. They could have gotten Young Frankenstein to host and he would have done better.
1:08 PM: OT Stephon Heyer just got pwned, but then did well on the next play.
1:09 PM: The idiot announcer just proclaimed that S Omar Stoutmire just ran the ball. He's fumbling around, looking for the name (Marcus Mason). Now he thinks that Ladell Betts is wearing #23. Hey, dingbat. There's this thing called the Internet. It's a series of tubes that give you things like the Redskins roster. Geesh.
1:14 PM: BREAKING NEWS --> The Redskins DL is not very good.
1:15 PM: Rocky whiffs on Todd Heap after a pass across the dep middle.
1:16 PM: BREAKING NEWS --> Our DL is still not getting any pressure and they're making Steve McNair look awesome. On a separate note, they've now taken to making Kyle Boller look awesome.
1:19 PM: Ade Jimoh just gave up a reception but he kept the play in front of him and tackled the guy before giving up a TD. He's a sure tackler.
1:20 PM: Sean Taylor's hair almost got a 15 yard penalty.
1:22 PM: It looks like they put #77 Chris Wilson in at LDE. He's got a pretty good speed rush. Anthony Montgomery (Monty) seems to only have a bull rush. But it's not really like a bull, it's more like a distracted cow.
1:24 PM: Announcer: "They have 5 quarterbacks in camp. That is... that is a lot of quarterbacks". Brilliant.
1:26 PM: Someone might want to suggest that there be a "The Wire" episode based on the murder that Stephon Heyer is receiving over there at LT.
1:29 PM: The offense under Todd Collins seems to be focused on the running game and it seem to be going well.
1:30 PM: Is there a hyperactive kid with a box full of pixie stix working the camera? I can't harly read any of the numbers before they cut away to talk to the Ravens' assistance jock strap sniffer.
1:32 PM: Todd Collins was a bit late on 20 yard out on 3rd and long. That happens sometimes when you can't throw a 20 yard out.
1:34 PM: The Redskins gave up a 49 yard pass play. Then another 10 yard pass play on one of the worst play action fakes ever. The Ravens are on the goal line now. Time to stiffen up, fellas!
1:36 PM: The Redskins sent the kitchen sink on a blitz and didn't get there. Luckily, CB John Eubanks (who?) stopped the WR before the goal line. Unnecessary roughness gives the Ratbirds a first down
1:38 PM: Ravens score a TD on a run over the right side.
1:39 PM: Yea, commercial!
1:40 PM: brb
1:45 PM: The Redskins offense are at the 35 yard line of the ratbirds. Sadly, this is only because the referee just walked down and put the ball there so that we can start the next offensive series.
1:46 PM: Touchdown Washington Redskins! WR Burl Toler (who?) caught about a 30 yard pass down the middle from Todd Collins (what?). The score would now be 10-7 ratbirds. EDIT: Apparently, it was Jordan Palmer who threw the 30 yard TD, which would make 1000 times more sense being that Collins hasn't thrown a 30 yard pass since the Clinton presidency.
1:48 PM: Willis McGahee needs tongue reduction surgery.
1:50 PM: RB Marcus Mason (23) is pretty quick. BTW, the announcer got it right this time, further confusing those rathbird fans who still think that it's Omar Stoutmire or Ladell Betts.
1:52 PM: The announcer asked the color commentator "Who was your main rival when you were at Florida A&M?" Riveting stuff. Here's an answer for you, Mr. Announcer Guy Person... "graduation".
1:54 PM: Chris Wilson (77) is still getting pressure from the LDE spot. Justin Hickman (75) is somewhat disrupting from the RDE spot. Not so much that either is actually getting to the QB mind you, but at this point, I just like to see burgundy jerseys in the backfield.
1:57 PM: Alex Buzbee (90), the Georgetown DE has looked pretty solid too.
1:58 PM: And that's the horn, folks.
All in all, this was a uneventful scrimmage. A few ugly plays stand out but not many plays that I would qualify as good for the Redskins on either side of the ball. Not too bad, though, considering that they've only been in camp a little over a week. OT Stephon Heyer had a rough start but then settled in pretty well.
12:48 PM: I've been watching this coverage with my jaw hanging open for about 20 minutes now. and it is easily the worst, most one-sided coverage that I've ever seen. I am supremely disappointed in MASN for providing such a crappy coverage team. If they're content to have complete ratbird coverage, they should allow a DC-oriented team to voiceover these jackholes.
12:54 PM: I'm sooooo much more interested in looking at some broke *** Charlie Weiss lookalike instead of watching the actual scrimmage. :/
12:56 PM: Cooley has on knee high yellow socks for the ladies. With that crazy hair, he kind of looks like a fuzzy pencil when he takes his helmet off, lol.
12:58 PM: Shawn Springs just got beat deep on a great pass by... Kyle Boller?
1:00 PM: Campbell seems to mostly be working underneath passes. Disturbing. I hope he breaks out that YouTube play.
1:04 PM: Finally, thank God. A commercial! My ears are bleeding from this coverage. They could have gotten Young Frankenstein to host and he would have done better.
1:08 PM: OT Stephon Heyer just got pwned, but then did well on the next play.
1:09 PM: The idiot announcer just proclaimed that S Omar Stoutmire just ran the ball. He's fumbling around, looking for the name (Marcus Mason). Now he thinks that Ladell Betts is wearing #23. Hey, dingbat. There's this thing called the Internet. It's a series of tubes that give you things like the Redskins roster. Geesh.
1:14 PM: BREAKING NEWS --> The Redskins DL is not very good.
1:15 PM: Rocky whiffs on Todd Heap after a pass across the dep middle.
1:16 PM: BREAKING NEWS --> Our DL is still not getting any pressure and they're making Steve McNair look awesome. On a separate note, they've now taken to making Kyle Boller look awesome.
1:19 PM: Ade Jimoh just gave up a reception but he kept the play in front of him and tackled the guy before giving up a TD. He's a sure tackler.
1:20 PM: Sean Taylor's hair almost got a 15 yard penalty.
1:22 PM: It looks like they put #77 Chris Wilson in at LDE. He's got a pretty good speed rush. Anthony Montgomery (Monty) seems to only have a bull rush. But it's not really like a bull, it's more like a distracted cow.
1:24 PM: Announcer: "They have 5 quarterbacks in camp. That is... that is a lot of quarterbacks". Brilliant.
1:26 PM: Someone might want to suggest that there be a "The Wire" episode based on the murder that Stephon Heyer is receiving over there at LT.
1:29 PM: The offense under Todd Collins seems to be focused on the running game and it seem to be going well.
1:30 PM: Is there a hyperactive kid with a box full of pixie stix working the camera? I can't harly read any of the numbers before they cut away to talk to the Ravens' assistance jock strap sniffer.
1:32 PM: Todd Collins was a bit late on 20 yard out on 3rd and long. That happens sometimes when you can't throw a 20 yard out.
1:34 PM: The Redskins gave up a 49 yard pass play. Then another 10 yard pass play on one of the worst play action fakes ever. The Ravens are on the goal line now. Time to stiffen up, fellas!
1:36 PM: The Redskins sent the kitchen sink on a blitz and didn't get there. Luckily, CB John Eubanks (who?) stopped the WR before the goal line. Unnecessary roughness gives the Ratbirds a first down
1:38 PM: Ravens score a TD on a run over the right side.
1:39 PM: Yea, commercial!
1:40 PM: brb
1:45 PM: The Redskins offense are at the 35 yard line of the ratbirds. Sadly, this is only because the referee just walked down and put the ball there so that we can start the next offensive series.
1:46 PM: Touchdown Washington Redskins! WR Burl Toler (who?) caught about a 30 yard pass down the middle from Todd Collins (what?). The score would now be 10-7 ratbirds. EDIT: Apparently, it was Jordan Palmer who threw the 30 yard TD, which would make 1000 times more sense being that Collins hasn't thrown a 30 yard pass since the Clinton presidency.
1:48 PM: Willis McGahee needs tongue reduction surgery.
1:50 PM: RB Marcus Mason (23) is pretty quick. BTW, the announcer got it right this time, further confusing those rathbird fans who still think that it's Omar Stoutmire or Ladell Betts.
1:52 PM: The announcer asked the color commentator "Who was your main rival when you were at Florida A&M?" Riveting stuff. Here's an answer for you, Mr. Announcer Guy Person... "graduation".
1:54 PM: Chris Wilson (77) is still getting pressure from the LDE spot. Justin Hickman (75) is somewhat disrupting from the RDE spot. Not so much that either is actually getting to the QB mind you, but at this point, I just like to see burgundy jerseys in the backfield.
1:57 PM: Alex Buzbee (90), the Georgetown DE has looked pretty solid too.
1:58 PM: And that's the horn, folks.
All in all, this was a uneventful scrimmage. A few ugly plays stand out but not many plays that I would qualify as good for the Redskins on either side of the ball. Not too bad, though, considering that they've only been in camp a little over a week. OT Stephon Heyer had a rough start but then settled in pretty well.
Friday, August 3, 2007
I'm In the Bizarro World... Except Chicks Still Don't Dig Me
Today, I was presented with the all too familiar dilemma as to where to go on the old Intertube. Ho hum, what to do, what to do? Would I go to visit my pals over at the WaPo and see who was kicking around or would I indulge my curiosity about the sexual habits of endangered species dressed up like a nurse? Oh, that naughty, naughty nurse, hehehe.
I think we all know how that went.
So afterwards, I decided to check out my old college roomate (not true) Mike Wise at the WaPo to see what particular consistency of digital bile he was dishing out today. Imagine my disbelief when I came across this article he wrote actually admonishing folks in the Blogoshpere (™, Rupert Murdock, Purveyor of Truth and the man who brought us the awesomest show ever) for going off the deep end after the current rash of injuries suffered by the fledgling 2007 Redskins so early into camp. After all, Chris Samuels is out 4 weeks with a sprained MCL (that's doctor talk), Clinton Portis (tendonitis) and Brandon Lloyd with elephantitis of his egotis rhymicles minimus.
OK, so that last one isn't actually an injury that will show up on any report that Bubba Tyer puts out, but trust me, if you've heard B-Dog's lyrical talents for any prolonged period of time, you could end up disabled. Or at least you might wish you were deaf. Or that he was mute. His music was used at Abu Ghraib, I think. It's like if Nick Nolte decided to make a rap album but then just decided to get drunk and urinate on an electrical outlet instead.
Back to Mike Wise.
Aside from the fact that he completely glossed over this blog in his article (which is plerplexing since it is the only one that matters... to me) he is actually defending the Redskins.
Hello?
This is Mike Wise. Captain Sardonic. The same Mike Wise that used his maiden Redskins opus to assail the team for having an insensitive and racist name, which, of course is a specious and inflammatory argument. Well done, Mike. That's precisely how you endear yourself to a new town who bleeds burgundy and gold. Say, have you ever gone to a wedding and broken out the goat to the bride at the reception?
Needless to say, there are plenty of accounts that the characterization is originally derived from the vermillion paint applied to the face and skin by Alonquin indians -- a local mid-Atlantic tribe. But why should such trivial matters as facts matter to a man of such elevated stature? After all, he has a press pass and I do not. I still don't get that. That's like inviting a vampire into your house. For crying out loud, Dan Snyder, didn't you ever see Lost Boys?
Oh, I could go on for days about Wise and his ill-conceived attempts to create news at Redskins Park as opposed to merely reporting it or commenting on it, but that's not the point here. What is the point is that he has written three articles this year about the Redskins and nary a one has endeavored to undermine the team. I'm almost dumbstruck.
Almost.
I know you Mike Wise. You don't fool me. Like a short-timing Lindsey Lohan at a rehab clinic, you're just biding your time until you can go out on the town, get drunk, fall down and flash your cooter (suckers, lol) to anyone who will watch. Well, I've got news for you. We've all seen your well manicured lady bits and... no, that's not... well, in any case, I know what you're up to. Don't think this fake little Herbie the Love Bug routine of yours will play forever.
So, for the love of all that'sholey holy, please keep your drawers on.
I think we all know how that went.
So afterwards, I decided to check out my old college roomate (not true) Mike Wise at the WaPo to see what particular consistency of digital bile he was dishing out today. Imagine my disbelief when I came across this article he wrote actually admonishing folks in the Blogoshpere (™, Rupert Murdock, Purveyor of Truth and the man who brought us the awesomest show ever) for going off the deep end after the current rash of injuries suffered by the fledgling 2007 Redskins so early into camp. After all, Chris Samuels is out 4 weeks with a sprained MCL (that's doctor talk), Clinton Portis (tendonitis) and Brandon Lloyd with elephantitis of his egotis rhymicles minimus.
OK, so that last one isn't actually an injury that will show up on any report that Bubba Tyer puts out, but trust me, if you've heard B-Dog's lyrical talents for any prolonged period of time, you could end up disabled. Or at least you might wish you were deaf. Or that he was mute. His music was used at Abu Ghraib, I think. It's like if Nick Nolte decided to make a rap album but then just decided to get drunk and urinate on an electrical outlet instead.
Back to Mike Wise.
Aside from the fact that he completely glossed over this blog in his article (which is plerplexing since it is the only one that matters... to me) he is actually defending the Redskins.
Hello?
This is Mike Wise. Captain Sardonic. The same Mike Wise that used his maiden Redskins opus to assail the team for having an insensitive and racist name, which, of course is a specious and inflammatory argument. Well done, Mike. That's precisely how you endear yourself to a new town who bleeds burgundy and gold. Say, have you ever gone to a wedding and broken out the goat to the bride at the reception?
Needless to say, there are plenty of accounts that the characterization is originally derived from the vermillion paint applied to the face and skin by Alonquin indians -- a local mid-Atlantic tribe. But why should such trivial matters as facts matter to a man of such elevated stature? After all, he has a press pass and I do not. I still don't get that. That's like inviting a vampire into your house. For crying out loud, Dan Snyder, didn't you ever see Lost Boys?
Oh, I could go on for days about Wise and his ill-conceived attempts to create news at Redskins Park as opposed to merely reporting it or commenting on it, but that's not the point here. What is the point is that he has written three articles this year about the Redskins and nary a one has endeavored to undermine the team. I'm almost dumbstruck.
Almost.
I know you Mike Wise. You don't fool me. Like a short-timing Lindsey Lohan at a rehab clinic, you're just biding your time until you can go out on the town, get drunk, fall down and flash your cooter (suckers, lol) to anyone who will watch. Well, I've got news for you. We've all seen your well manicured lady bits and... no, that's not... well, in any case, I know what you're up to. Don't think this fake little Herbie the Love Bug routine of yours will play forever.
So, for the love of all that's
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Landry Reports To Camp
Today was Redskins' top pick, S LaRon Landry's first day of camp. By all accounts, he acquitted himself nicely. For those of you have haven't seen Landry, he's a flat out beast. The kind of beast that I wouldn't let children around if he was on TV and they were in the room for fear that he could eat them through the airwaves.
In the interest of full disclosure, I chafed a bit at the Landry pick when we made it, lo those many moons ago, all the way back in April. Of course, back then, I thought we'd have flying cars by now, but I digress.
Traditional thought says that you "win and lose in the trenches". Everyone has heard that saying. It's pretty much a cliche like "don't put that in your mouth, you don't know where it's been". And "See, I told you not to put that in your mouth. Now you have lockjaw. Satisfied?"
We've all seen the Vince Lombardi video talking about his power sweep on the chalk board and how it was designed to be run "in the alley". You draft players to stop those types of plays first and foremost. I seriously doubt we'd ever see Lombardi designing a play to be run "out of the alley, around the corner, down the street and in the parking garage", where safeties live.
Who could blame any sane person for questioning the Redskins' braintrust for taking a DB with their top pick for 3 times in 4 years? I mean, who does that? Especially when the Redskins couldn't stop Bob Hope from running for 4 yards per carry. And not the Road to Bali Bob Hope either, I'm talking about the dead one.
Well, I'm here to tell you that I'm buying the Landry hype hook, dysfunctional defensive line and sinker. The tandem of Sean Taylor and LaRon Landry is going to be something to watch for a few years. I just hope that they are so incredible in the defensive backfield so as to mesmerize opposing offenses into just handing them the ball every play and then making them some eggs benedict in the futile hope that the Devastating Duo won't rip out their collective spines like the Predator.
Ah, good times.
Just make sure you block the channel on your TiVo so that the kids don't end up in therapy after seeing Taylor and Landry reenacting scenes from 300 in Little D.
In the interest of full disclosure, I chafed a bit at the Landry pick when we made it, lo those many moons ago, all the way back in April. Of course, back then, I thought we'd have flying cars by now, but I digress.
Traditional thought says that you "win and lose in the trenches". Everyone has heard that saying. It's pretty much a cliche like "don't put that in your mouth, you don't know where it's been". And "See, I told you not to put that in your mouth. Now you have lockjaw. Satisfied?"
We've all seen the Vince Lombardi video talking about his power sweep on the chalk board and how it was designed to be run "in the alley". You draft players to stop those types of plays first and foremost. I seriously doubt we'd ever see Lombardi designing a play to be run "out of the alley, around the corner, down the street and in the parking garage", where safeties live.
Who could blame any sane person for questioning the Redskins' braintrust for taking a DB with their top pick for 3 times in 4 years? I mean, who does that? Especially when the Redskins couldn't stop Bob Hope from running for 4 yards per carry. And not the Road to Bali Bob Hope either, I'm talking about the dead one.
Well, I'm here to tell you that I'm buying the Landry hype hook, dysfunctional defensive line and sinker. The tandem of Sean Taylor and LaRon Landry is going to be something to watch for a few years. I just hope that they are so incredible in the defensive backfield so as to mesmerize opposing offenses into just handing them the ball every play and then making them some eggs benedict in the futile hope that the Devastating Duo won't rip out their collective spines like the Predator.
Ah, good times.
Just make sure you block the channel on your TiVo so that the kids don't end up in therapy after seeing Taylor and Landry reenacting scenes from 300 in Little D.
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